I’m probably going to get some negative comments for writing this post but one, I can’t please everyone anyway so no point in trying, and two, the truth hurts but sometimes it must be said. So here I go.
Over the past 12 years, I’ve read hundreds of self help type of books from goal setting to creating wealth to being happy to NLP to visualizations and a bunch of other topics with the one goal of finding the key to success. I read all of those books believing that it will help me to get all of the things I’ve ever wanted in my life.
I am the owner of I don’t know how many books, a huge box full of personal development CDs and audio tapes (I don’t even have a cassette player anymore), and a few items that I got from attending various seminars. All of these things combined, cost thousands and thousands of dollars. For the amount of money and time I invested in these things, did I get closer to being successful?
In all honesty, in terms of my definition success, the answer is no.
As someone who grew up with parents living on welfare for the first decade or so of my life, money was always something we lacked and because of it, my definition of success became being financially independent. So by my definition, all of the money and time I invested in learning these “secrets of success” didn’t really help much. If anything, it brought me further away.
I’ve read stories that talked about how some people have this addiction to self help. They crave more and more information. They spend thousands and thousands of dollars attending ridiculously expensive seminars all in hopes of one day becoming successful. Many of these people go into debt because of it, thinking that it’s an investment in their future so it’s okay. Is it any wonder why self help is a multi-billion dollar industry?
We’ve all been told by countless self help gurus to read more books and attend seminars. I remember Jim Rohn, bless his soul, saying, “Skip a meal, but don’t skip a good book.” Tony Robbins often mentions attending his pricey seminars is way more valuable than reading his books. Many of these gurus keep coming out with more and more books as if the keys to success keep changing or something.
What I Got Out of My Search of the Keys to Success
All of those years of reading self help material wasn’t all a waste though. It changed my mindset. It changed the way I looked at life, myself, and what my purpose was. It helped turn me into a much happier person simply because happiness is created within. I’m able to deal with stress a lot more easily. In fact, I hardly get stressed. It helped me become a very patient person, most of the time anyway. Even though I’m nowhere near where I want to be, I have high hopes that I’ll eventually get there.
As you can see, there is a lot of value, at least in changing yourself internally from reading self improvement books. And yet, I still felt that the time and money invested compared to my ROI just wasn’t matching up since my definition of success has to do so much with having more money.
I know money isn’t everything but listen, it gives you options. I don’t care about fancy cars and brand name clothing or any of those things. What I do care about is exposing myself to new experiences. I care about having enough free time to spend with my friends and family. I don’t have kids yet but when I do, I care about my ability to be there for them instead of having to work all of the time. I figure if money is one of the main causes of stress and problems in people’s lives, then it would be wise to just get the money aspect of my life handled once and for all.
My Slow Realization
I don’t know why it took me so long to realize something so simple but more knowledge is just a waste of time. Reading more books isn’t going to change my life. Investing hundreds or thousands of dollars to listen to some guru isn’t going to change my life. NO ONE can change my life for me.
I finally figured out the secret of success: There aren’t any secrets.
Anyone who has experienced deserved success in any aspect of their life did it by taking action, lots and lots of action. You want to know why those motivational gurus make so much money? It’s because they’re out there every day selling their products and creating value, at least perceived value, to the marketplace.
You want to know why people who are fit have the kind of body that they do? It’s because they’ve been busting their ass at the gym nearly every day for years. Do you want to know why some people have great relationships with their friends, spouse, and kids? It’s because they work on and nurture those relationships constantly.
I’ve realized that to be successful at anything, it just comes down to being relentless with putting in the work. No book or seminar or guru or life coach or website can change your life for you folks. Only you can. It’s in the moment that you decide to stop making excuses and just go out and do what needs to be done that your life will change.
I think most of us have had thoughts of becoming a millionaire. I certainly have. But I realized that my real goal isn’t to have tons of money, it’s to have time freedom. I guess having the experience of seeing my mom traveling to other states to work for months at a time just to help put food on the table made me realize how the need for money can dictate so much of one’s life. This is one of the reasons why having time freedom is so important to me so creating an income that doesn’t require an on going time commitment became my new goal.
My Success Progress
I’m happy to say that I’m closer to my definition of success now than I’ve ever been before and guess how many self help books I’ve completed from cover to cover over the past year? None.
I realize now that success just comes down to knowing what you want and taking massive action while noticing what’s working and not working along the way and adjusting your strategy if necessary.
Don’t get me wrong, I still see value in reading self help books but I no longer have the urge to finish books anymore let alone read dozens of them each year. These days, I only read books if I’m looking for something specific and the second I pick up an idea I can apply, I put the book down and take action. I may never come back to the book again but who cares? My life will change as a result of my actions, not whether or not I finish a book from cover to cover.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been reading tons and tons of books and attending seminars and have found that you’re still not that much closer to your personal definition of success, then you need to re-evaluate how you’re spending your time. Merely obtaining more knowledge is a waste of time until you apply what you’ve learned. Invest more of your time and energy into doing rather than studying. The person who just reads tons and tons of books on how to start a business will never be as successful as the person who just goes out and starts a business and learns from real life experience.
Now I realize that there are some holes in my argument. If I never read any of those books, my mindset wouldn’t have changed for the better. Heck, this site wouldn’t even exist because I wouldn’t know what to write about. My life is most likely better off for reading those books than not reading them.
However, I believe that too much information can be a huge waste of time.
Let’s get real here. Did I really need to read THAT many books, hundreds, and listen to thousands of hours of audio programs to figure out how to be successful? Of course not! What I needed was never more information. What I needed was to just stop making excuses as to why I can’t take action yet and just freakin’ take action. Some people can take action but still fail. True, but they fail because they either took the wrong actions or underestimated how much work was needed to achieve their goal. Most of the time, it’s the latter.
I’ve come to realize that by just going out and taking action, you will learn a lot more than you can from reading any self help book. Pick up a few books and read them to get the basic foundation of success. You can find some recommendations on my books page. But from there, it’s all up to you to put in the work.
Don’t get me wrong. There is definitely value in reading these books and even attending seminars but if you’ve been doing all of those things and your life still hasn’t drastically changed for the better, then it’s time to focus more on taking action rather than absorbing more knowledge.
From someone who’s read hundreds of self help books, listened to thousands of hours of audio programs, done the visualizations, done the weird mantras and chants, and attended a few pricey seminars, taking action day in, day out, without fail is what it REALLY takes to be successful, not spending more of your hard earned money to make some self help guru even richer.
“The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking.” – Albert Einstein
I’d love to read your thoughts and comments on this.
Until next time…
Love Life. Do Good. Live Well.
Back to Random Thoughts
“I realize now that success just comes down to knowing what you want and taking massive action while noticing what's working and not working along the way and adjusting your strategy if necessary.”
I think you hit the nail right on the head!
Thanks Brian
I have never been much of a fan of self help ( or motivational ) books anyway. No I am nothing against it, but too much of it is just. . . plain ridiculous. Actions always always speak louder than anything else. And i think each one of us actually has our own definition of success and to succeed, we need to get that sorted out first and work towards it. If there's one 'secret' of success, well to me, it's to never ever give up.
You're absolutely right about defining success first. Some people read these books simply to draw inspiration from them but at the same time take action too so that's totally fine in my opinion.
Hi Kevin,
I found your post really interesting and I understand your point and I agree with you but the title is not correct for me.
I read sometimes self help book and I found them valuable. The most important thing is reading them with an open mind, adapting what you read to your life and taking actions in your life. Often this kind of suggestion is always present at the beginning of the book but probably lots of people ignore it.
The lesson to learn is:
“Reading a self-help book helps only if you start applying some ideas in the real life otherwise it is a waste of time”.
Thanks for the share
Hi Andrea,
The title was more of an attention grabber. The original title I had was, “Why Reading More Self Help Books Won't Help”. As I mentioned in the article though, as long as the reader is actually seeing positive improvements, then it's fine. It's those who constantly seek out the next book or program but never do anything with what they already learned is who I'm trying to reach.
Thanks for the comment and you know, I probably should change the title to what I originally had it as.
I still think it's worth reading some self-help books just because it gets you in a better mentality, even though the information is rarely that usefull. I've actually found that reading biographies/auto-biographies by successful people to be more helpfull, as it gets you into their mindset. I'm currently reading Richard Branson's 'Screw it, Let's do it' book and it's great for getting me motivated towards the direction I want to go, even though the information in it isnt nessessarily helpful to me.
Thanks for the input Phil. Self help books can definitely help with one's mindset. They've positively affected my mentality in a huge way. In terms of motivation though, I've found it doesn't usually last very long so that's why I feel it's important to take action right away, even if I'm in the middle of a paragraph. Got an idea? Got motivated? Great, now put the book down and take action.
Six is the number. Six self help books and then specialized help if you need it. I gaffe been to one seminar but left half way through to try out what I had just learned. For every one of those wonderful happy thoughts from the secret there must be a congruent and equal action in reaching said goal. Think and Get Rich by Nepolian Hill is one of the six, the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz , any one of Anthony Robbins, Mindset by Carol Dweck, Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People , Getting things Done.
Boy, I way over shot it then 🙂 Good suggestions by the way.
You do have some people who may not be open minded about the title feeling they were duped into the “read” but I can't picture nobody regretting they read this article…such wonderful work. However, I feel most people will get the message and realize as you stated this was a sheer “attention grabber”. Personally, I thought it was rather cool the way you lead the reader to the climax of your article spilling the truth of the matter…the A word (Action). Thanks for the share, it helped me to realize my next steps in any plans/goals I've sought to accomplish….I needed the “wake up” .
Thanks for the compliments Bev. Some of the things I wrote in the article wasn't something I would normally want to admit (i.e. spending so much money on self help products), but I figured it would help some folks re-evaluate their investments if they weren't seeing huge improvements in terms of the results they were originally looking for.
thanks bev…..even i did the same thing for the last many years…reading more books that thinking that this specific book will inspire and motivate me,but main point of life is work(karm) that we should do…….i would like to say that whatever you have attended seminars,read books really helped…to ME……today you became my motivational guru..
you have motivated me…….thanks for sharing your personal experience which was somehow related to me…thanks Bev
I agree, I think the only thing truly standing in my way is my sloth-like ways. I've let my doubts call the shots too much, you got to try and -try- and if you fail. Find another solution instead of beating a dead horse.
Thank you Kevin, your site has helped me a lot these past few days.
I'm glad you found my site useful Branden. You're right. One reason for trying is to see if something will work and if it doesn't, learn what you can from it, create another plan, and try again. Thanks for the comment.
Kevin, this was a great post! Thanks! As someone who has gone through a significant body transformation, you're right. There's only so much reading, listening, etc. a person can do until it's time to get off your duff and simply “do it”! Also, thanks for the collection of quotes that you've amassed here; I use them almost daily as my FB status …
Thanks Muata and good advice. Just do it!
This is for sure gonna help me in a long run.
“ACTION is the word”
Yes!
With sincere humility, I appreciate how you have put forth the IDEA of 'Freedom Of Time'. Thank you, No, Thank you very much. Time for some massive action in life.
Keep Smiling…!!
Glad you found some value in the article, Viz 🙂
Thanks for slapping me in the face, i used to read a lot of books until now which I could hardly find any books which could catch my interest ! I was really down as I don’t look forward to reading books anymore ! So instead of finding books to read I visit sites like yours for summarized Ideas so I have more time to take action and kick ass!
Thanks a lot Kevin!
No problem Eddie. As I said in the article, self help books are great if you actually take action on the info you pick up. Thanks for commenting.
Hi Kevin, I just stumbled upon your article and agree with most of it except for the comment “No book or seminar or guru or life coach or website can change your life for you folks,” particularly the reference to a “life coach.” I am a Life Coach and the difference between me and a book is that the book won’t nag you:) I believe that having someone that you are accountable to when you decide on the action you want to take, can make a difference. I know that I cannot successfully coach someone who is not ready to take action. But if the person is, I can provide that added incentive, support and personal guidance that may be missing in the self-help book. I too have read many and attended seminars, but the real success in my life happened when I started helping other people achieve their goals!
Hi Linda,
In my opinion, a life coach can certainly give a person extra reasons to take action especially when they’re paying money for the sessions and have someone to help keep them accountable but ultimately, no matter how much you “nag” at someone, it’s still up to them to take action, you can’t actually do it for them. In any case, having extra incentives to get things done definitely helps. Thanks for the input.
I would read about an author who is already a success in fields other than starting his business as self help author and or motivational speaker. Example, Charles F. Haanel, John Paul Getty. If it’s about self help he should be in the filed of psychology such as holding doctorate or being professor in psychology. Example Daniel Goleman, M. Scott Peck, Daniel Kahneman. Their theories need to be put to the test at least and proven a success.
I understand what you’re saying, Del. Credentials are definitely important especially if you’re looking to solve something specific. I wouldn’t rule out people who don’t have degrees though. Some people are just better at conveying their message in a way that produces a change in their readers. Thanks for your input.
You are welcome Kevin, what I am opposing is those who start writing about success and preach it just to make money and they have never been successful in the first place. Example, Harv Eker , Operah, Tony Robbins and many more. Read their biographies before reading their books. Some have been involved in consumer fraud and other criminal acts, such as Charles J. Givens and Harv Eker. When their student does not get anywhere with their so called promises they always find a reason that there is something wrong with him. If someone writes a book about success I d assume that works but if he continues to writes more and more books about success yet again what does this mean? To me it means his previous book is not promising and so his aim is to make more and more money out of writing success books. I would read about real success stories, biographies of genuinely successful people not some reality TV celebrities.
I see where you’re coming from and I’ve thought about the same things myself, especially about writing multiple books. All I can say about that is not everyone will read the same book the same way. For example, Brian Tracy has a ton of books and audio programs. Some will click, some won’t. Had he stopped with just one book, he’d be limiting his reach and audience. I’ve read some pretty pointless books but there’s always someone who can learn something from them surprisingly.
It’s like reading motivational quotes. Many of them basically say the same thing but just worded differently. I currently have two quotes about how happiness is a choice on my Facebook page. One has almost twice as many likes as the other even though it’s the same message.
I believe Eker first made his money in opening fitness chains from what I remember. Robbins early success started from promoting Jim Rohn seminars. Jim Rohn started in network marketing. As for Oprah, she built a following based on her personality and ability to relate to people.
Anyway, I think when it comes to reading these types of books, you really get out of them what you put into action. You could read a book by some professor with a PH.D. but if it bores you to death and you end up not doing anything with that information, it’s pointless. Likewise, you could talk to a total failure and become motivated to take action so you don’t end up like him.
Well said Kevin, you have made the point whereby if you want to succeed in life you have to get up, go and do something rather than keep affirming success without getting anywhere for the rest of your life. Action speaks louder than words. To be honest with you I have never bought a single self help book but just happened to read few free e-books as I have always been skeptical that this is purely about the self-help industry money making and this is true, it is a multi-billion industry! In my opinion, if self-help books etc actually worked, the entire industry would collapse. Like someone said, there is only one way in which self-help books can truly lead to a life of wealth and accomplishment, and that is to write them yourself and there’s even a self-help book that tells you how to do it. Funny though!
In my opinion, many of the things that self help books talk about actually works but let’s face it, the average person won’t put in the work. We’re a quick fix society and if anything takes longer than 30-90 days to accomplish, forget it. Just look at the weight loss industry, billions a year even though losing weight is quite basic. If people actually stuck with their diet/exercise plans, the weight loss industry would collapse as well. The average person goes on a diet for a few months and if they don’t lose 50 pounds, they quit and look for the next diet just like a self help reader seeking the next book once they don’t reach their goals after a few months.
Success isn’t fancy or pretty nor is it convenient. It takes work and it’s a big pain just to go through all of the ups and downs so most people would rather continue finding the easy path covered with sparkling glitter which they believe must exists because people who sell this stuff told them so.
For people who see their life as limited or don’t have much belief in themselves, self help books can do wonders by opening their mind to a new way of thinking. Whether or not they actually succeed in accomplishing their new, bigger goals still comes down to whether or not they take consistent action. That isn’t something any book can make them do.
Hmm i guess thaaat reading books will not help u if ur not taking actionssss …. But it most definitely help u if ur takingg actionsss ..noonzzz xx
Hi Kevin, thanks for the feedback.
It is a known fact that most of human beings want to become rich and that requires having goals, there is no doubt about it, but the problem with most people, including myself, is not knowing what we want or what goals to set for ourselves and then we start moaning why we couldn’t make it. It’s like a ship sailing without a compass. As a simple example, before I went to university, the goal I had in my mind was to become computer guy and I eventually made it through hard work etc so without having that goal and taking action I wouldn’t have become what I am now. To me there is no specific secret or rule or whatever to success that applies to all mankind. Example, the so called secret of affirming success then success will come to you in a miraculous way. In other words, the so called law of attraction.
I believe the real secret is to know what we want first and foremost and then follow that path and do whatever it takes to reach our destination. The self help industry is not going to choose goals for us. All it tells us is that we should know what we want and then apply it. Well some books say be positive all the time and that should create vibrations crap in the universe then it will come back to you in a material form. Actually, according to some psychological studies, when we feel angry or depressed it is healthier to express it rather than vent it or hide it inside just because of having to force ourselves to remain positive all the time, otherwise how are we going to help each other recover from it? Another thing which says we should keep away from negative people. How is a negative person going to learn to be positive if there are no positive people around to show them the way? Maybe they are not aware of their being negative and someone need to get them out of their dilemma. At the end of the day we are all humans and we need each other.
I know some rich people who talk negatively from time to time, no wonder why that hasn’t affected their thought processes which could risk them becoming failure. They have always remained prosperous. Well they must definitely be positive action orientated.
We can read all the self-help books of the world but as long as we do not follow goals setting, planning, taking positive action, persistence etc rule there is no hope for us.
Hi Del,
You seem to equate self help books to “The Secret” and positive affirmations/thinking. If that’s the case, then yes, I agree with you. However, that’s just one group of books within the self help niche. You said you’ve never read more than a few free self help ebooks and with the popularity of The Secret (which resulted in tons of books on the topic of the law of attraction), I can understand why you’re lumping the whole self help category under “thinking = success”. I wrote about what I think of the “law” of attraction in the self improvement section of this site.
Most of the self help books on success actually talk about setting goals and taking action. Many go into specific action steps. A lot of achieving goals comes down to mindset. What you say to yourself when life gets tough can make a big difference on how you react to challenges. In terms of what to do, once you decide on a goal, you have the internet at your disposal to do your research to figure out what to do.
Yup, nothing beats action.
I thin you’ve got it exactly right. To get anything that you want you have to try. Anyone can think of a million different ways or be told a million different things but until you do any of it its all theory. Once you start you learn for yourself you get pride in your achievements, humbled by your mistakes, learn from things and don’t begrudge others success as you realise the only way to get it is working at it. Some people may look like it comes easy to them and I think its just because they’re practised at getting on with it. When things don’t go there way, they learn from it and embrace the things the things do go right and nurturing those good things. I think its human laziness with ourselves and with our lives, we all want something amazing with very little effort, its part of our culture and somehow we vainly hope we can skip the hard work bit by reading a book or something. But all reading a book does is give you tools at the end of the day you have to do it yourself, you have to take action as you’ve said and be inspired by those you meet and the experiences you have. I used to be a stressy anxiety ridden person and now 90% of the time i am happy and confident i just realized if things were important to me i had to put the work in and not procrastinate :). I don’t think you ever reach a sacred goal of “ahh i’m happy now i can stop trying” because if you get comfy and stop putting the effort in with time things will slips away, you’ll become unhappy with the life or job or relationship you once adored, its got to be an approach to life, enjoying the journey and making the most of it in every way you can. Thanks for writing this, it has great insight 🙂
Right on, Laura. Good thoughts. Thanks for the input and glad you found your way to my website 🙂
Hi Kevin and folks, Kevin I ve been reading a lot about your blog and I find a lot of very useful information on it.
I have recently learned one thing which I think might help a great deal and I appreciate it. If we want a self help or success book/article to work for us it should not be a novel type book as we tend to enjoy it the moment we are reading it but might start forgetting what we have read gradually. It should in fact be a book that challenges your mind through assignments, exercises etc. Amazingly, one self help book that is working for me is the power of concentration by William Walker Atkinson. Very powerful.
Self help..means self help..u have a guide..ways..strategies..its up to u how u can help urself..even the author has helped himself by writing the book..n now most of them are rich..so y we lay back critisizing..
You’re right, it’s “self” help. The challenge is many people look for these books/seminars to do the changing for them. They are great at gathering more and more information but miss the taking action part of the equation.
I like this article a lot, lately I’ve been reading many blogs about how to be successful on a variety of things I want to do in life, I constantly get informed and inspired and get tricks and whatever. Yet, I haven’t done a single thing so far, motivational reads are useless to me.
Motivational and self help books are really only as useful as you make them. If you don’t take action on them then they are quite useless. As Dale Carnegie said, “Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied.”
When it comes to internal self improvement like confidence and happiness, is it better to soak up more information just to change your mindset or should I just take little bits and pieces from that sort of advice?
To change your mindset, I think soaking up more information can help as it did for me. I see it sort of as pushing out negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive ones. You’ll run across specific techniques and methods to increase things like confidence and happiness though and in those cases, you’d be better off actually taking action on the advice rather than just reading it and moving on.
Wow, you are 100% right. I havent thought of it that way. ITS about taking action and making things happen. Its not just reading and constantly absorbing information, its applying. I knew this before, but i didnt quite see it the way you saw it. Like you ive read many selfhelp books but it didnt make me rich. Unless you take action you cant be rich. Thanks a lot. THIS is better than any self help book i read.
Thanks for compliment 🙂 I’m glad my article helped. Just to take it a step further, taking action is good but what you want to do is take the RIGHT action. This is where trial and error, measuring your results, and adjusting your strategy comes in.
Not every strategy you pick up from books will work for you so discard the ones that don’t work and stick with the ones that do (improve where necessary) until you reach your goal. Thanks for commenting!
I was looking for some help because of the number of diet books I obsessively read – yet remain overweight. I think I use the action of reading to procrastinate losing the weight. As long as I haven’t finished that last book or still need to read the next one then I can delay actually working on losing weight.
Good observation, Libby. I’ve definitely done that as well. Many times, reading more will only make us realize just how little information we have which causes us to seek for more information while delaying the one thing that will produce actual results, taking action.
I feel that it’s absolutely true I found it out from my own experience that reading too much of these books leads to too much thinking and high expectations on our future. Action is what required always.
Thank you this awesome because its true. Ever watch MJ’s documentary? Why was he who he was? Not the personal stuff but the performer? Because he was a perfectionist, a talented dancer, a hard worker, a dedicated performer. You get what you give in this life so you want to live it well. DO WELL work hard if you want to play hard!
I have actually. I think if more people realize just what he put into his craft, less people will think he was born with dancer/singer genes.
Great and truthful article, I totally agree with your points… people shouldn’t get sucked in the realm of addictive self help “drugs”.
You’re right, it can be like a drug where you just keep wanting more and more regardless of whether or not it’s worth it.
I love this! So much around self-help focuses on thinking, and it is really easy to think the thoughts and talk the talk but not walk the walk. I have read a few self-help books, read books on getting through recovery and how to recover, and visited countless websites where I’ve read experiences that other people have had, how they overcame them and difficulties THEY have had. I’m slowly realising that gaining that knowledge helps to “comfort” me in my struggles but it doesn’t actually HELP me in my own recovery – it doesn’t make me do anything about it, and so the problems persist. Getting up and doing something is definitely the hard part!
Also, worrying about how well we can perform in the future and how we can give ourselves a brighter tomorrow COMPLETELY takes away from the enjoyment of the action being taken today!
If it only took you a few books to figure it out, you’re way ahead of me. It took me way, way longer to realize this. You’re right about the comfort part. I felt I was accomplishing something every time I finished a book but in reality, I wasn’t really getting any closer to my goals. In some ways, the more I read, the more I thought I needed to learn before taking action for some reason.
Now, I think learning some basics then taking lots of action and learning from the results of those actions is a much better approach for most things.
hiya, ive read personal development stuff for a years now, when ive been feeling a bit down i used to reach for a book or audio to get some inspiration and motivation, have these books worked ? who knows , if i havent had read them would i have been worse off, ill never know, but who was it who said ” the book you dont read wont help you ”
one thing i have found that the best form of motivation is to go out and do the work you need to do to be successful in the area you want and the fact is success breeds success and it certainly makes me feel better.
I also wont read during productive time like i used to, i leave it until the days work has finished
so its no secret to be a success……take action get to work on it … NOW.
Yes, taking action is the key. Personal development stuff does have its place though as you said.
Dear Kevin,
Your article is a gem…
I felt the same condition like you did. I noticed that all of the books were becoming more of a burden to me. Even worse it can become an obsession, like greed for more success secrets (i know, crazy right?) It’s as if my life is determined by how many books i can digest in a year.
No more of that.
Thanks to you, i am now convinced that what matters is not how many books you read, but how many of those that you translate into action. You have just gained another supporter. What matter the most is your action, not your knowledge.
Thanks for your article.
Regards
The lure of learning more and more “secrets” of success can definitely be quite enticing. Back then, whenever my goals weren’t being achieved, I would search for the next book to read in hopes of obtaining a piece of information that would turn things around instead of focusing on taking more correct action. Lesson learned.
Thanks for the comment.
Nice article
I reached here from googling ‘best self help books’
I was going to read free e books but after reading this and all the comment
I see that reading more books wont help me so i am going to apply what i have already learned and if they work only then i will read more
Reasons why many people fail is because they don’t do what they need to do
Even Brian Tracy says in his tapes that 97% or more of his listeners won’t
write down clear-cut goals even after he asks them .They cannot write down goals for us.We have to set goals and work towards them
Self-discipline and hard work are the keys to success
Reading self help books isn’t bad, just make sure you take more action than reading more information if results is what you’re after.
Having read nearly 10 self-help books, I think this article is the most self-help I got yet, I thank you for your sincerity.
No problem.
I agree with all of what you’ve said. I got a great quote from Jim Rohn “You got to invest wisdom into labor, wisdom into discipline or it won’t produce results. No matter how strong, faith and courageous your are. You must be invested it with activity.”
Thanks for the quote, Solo. I’ve never heard of that one before. Here are similar ones by Mr. Rohn:
You must learn to translate wisdom and strong feelings into labor.
The miracle of the seed and the soil is not available by affirmation; it is only available by labor.
I agree that self help information overload is not really productive. Someone getting into this stuff should recognize that most good self help books contain very similar messages and that they don’t have to get their hands on everything out there to understand the key principles of success.
More and more books and info with the same ideas stated in different ways will only confuse and overwhelm the person. Once you understand the principles you must spend your time and energy applying them consistently rather than spending it seeking out more self help guidance.
Kevin your thoughts are worth reading for. idont even remember how many articles, ebooks, websites, audio i read. its like i am a self help guru now.
What you observe is information overload. Putting energy and time in reading and reading and it creates a habbit. Charging a battery for years without utilizing.
Thinking is good; Action needs more efforts. Thinking gives solution; Action gives results
Action is a process full with obstruction like delay; dislike; thoughts; competition; environment etc.
thanks kevin
Another part of it is that I felt like I was accomplishing something by reading more books as if the number of books I read was the key to changing my life. Perhaps, it was just my way of delaying action, a form of procrastination since gaining more knowledge is a lot easier than applying what I already know.
Thanks for the comment.
I disagree with this completely. Learning things from self help books have helped me accomplish what I have so far and has driven me to want to achieve more. I’m angered that people are going to read your website and get turned off just because they haven’t worked for you.
If you disagree with the article completely then you didn’t read the whole article such as the part where I wrote: “There is definitely value in reading these books and even attending seminars…” I also linked to a page for some books I recommend people to read.
Learning from self help books with the aim to improve your life is great but without action, what’s the point? I’ve met many people who have attended seminars and read tons of self help books and are still going no where in life. More knowledge isn’t the answer to a better life, more action is. If you’ve been learning things from self help books AND putting in tons of action, then that’s great. This article is aimed at those who just gather information without actually using what they learn.
Your words really resonated with me. I, too, have been a devout reader of self-help books for about a decade or more. Even though I grew up in poverty and in an abusive, alcoholic home, I told myself it was no excuse. I refused to be a victim and was an overachiever; I tried to prove I was better than my past. I looked to self-help books, reiki, kundalini yoga, acupuncture, meditation, you name it, I’ve done it! I am not putting any of these experiences down. And, I am happy at least I was searching and striving to improve myself. But, I remember, when summer I got very angry with it all. And, I said to my best friend, I am sick of trying to improve myself, I am sick of all of these self-help books! I just want to be okay with the way I am right now. Why do I make my life into this huge self-improvement project? So, I threw those books in the trash hoping some other person like me would pick them up and use them. And guess what? It’s three years later and I have a new shelf of self-improvement books. And now, am back to feeling the same way about it. Why do I keep feeling like I need to improve? On the outside looking in, everyone thinks of me as a very successful person, with plenty of achievements. I even won a National competition, for pete’s sake. And yet, my work on loving myself, being strong, independent, successful, and achieving more is still nagging to be done.
I suppose this was me just rambling on about my own story. But, I wanted to say that I think you are a very special person to have so much awareness, and that you overcame so many difficulties in your life. It was good to hear about another person’s journey on striving for a life that feels successful, secure, and satisfying to them. All the best!
Hi Patricia,
Thanks for sharing. The need to improve ourselves, in my opinion, is a good thing. I think there is a difference between feeling you need to improve to be happy and being happy while in the pursuit of further growth. One is where you’re constantly chasing something while the other is where you’re expanding what you already have. I hope that makes sense.
I think many of the things many of us pursue are to impress others or gain their approval/love/respect… in other words, we’re doing it for ‘them’ and not for us. Perhaps figuring out what we really want in life, what gives us joy, and not constantly living by what society expects of us, can help.
Just my opinion.
kevin, u n me, I think are just a same person in two different bodies… God, I can’t believe how come someone share same stories of their life… Each n every of your article is written by me too, though I’ve saved it in my pc and shared it with my few buddies but I haven’t published it… gosh, I still can’t believe, the way u see and analyse everything in life is just the same with me too!
I believe we’re addicted to self help books with the high hopes of getting that “SPARK” to push us to make that change in our life that we’re seeking. While books, Deepak and Dr. Phil can assist you – only YOU can help yourself when “you are ready!”
I agree.
Self help books and motivational speakers and seminars played an instrumental part of the equation for me overcoming a 15 year drug addiction. Looking back now, hindsight20/20, I believe it gave my mind something else to focus on and ideas came to mind to pursue. Also a close relationship with Jesus Christ was the keystone for my Recovery. What I find with at least most of the self help gurus is that alot of what they teach can be traced back to Biblical teachings.
Enjoyed the article, ACTION is essential.
week kind of deal or otherwise said action in right and controlled thinking i 7good days
Brilliant post, opened my eyes. Absolutely agree.
Thanks Kevin for sharing. I agree with you on taking action
You’re welcome, Sophie.
I reached the conclusion yesterday that if I devoted as much time to making life improvements as I do to reading about those improvements then I’d prolly achieve a real change for the better in my life. I’m reading about: how to be a better mother whilst my 5 year old plays alone in the garden,; or how to have the perfect body whilst enjoying a cup of tea on the sofa; and how to achieve career success rather than keeping abreast of changes in my industry to be the best that I can be. I’m hoping that all this reading will some day manifest itself in a positive attitude that will motivate me to affect real change in my life. It won’t! The power of the human mind is immense, whatever you believe will be. That’s not to say you can think yourself to being a millionaire because your rationale mind will never believe this without cause. Rather, believing you will succeed is the key to success because you will take all necessary steps to realise that outcome. Do or do not – there is no try (thank you, Yoda!).
So thank you for this article – you have quite literally put my thoughts into writing. Can I suggest that you go into much greater detail, secure a publishing deal and entitle your final draft “Memoirs of a Self Help Junkie”? I, for one, will buy it! 😉
haha, that’s not a bad idea. I liked your different titles. It’s a much more clever way of conveying what I wrote in the article. 🙂 I enjoyed your comment, thanks!